Leading with the Power of Empathy
By Jen Pavkov
Photo by Ron Coleman, C4 Photography
Tia Manning is a relentless agent for change. In her role at the Women’s Fund as the Freedom From Violence project manager, she leads systems change related to domestic violence (DV) and sexual assault (SA) in our community from a place of empathy, support and compassion.
The Women’s Fund is not a service provider—meaning the organization does not directly serve clients—but rather works within systems (such as law enforcement, the criminal legal system, crisis response teams, nonprofit service providers and with community partners). Manning works to raise the standard of practice across these systems to better serve survivors by centering and uplifting their lived experiences, as well as fostering collective learning around the ways that racial bias and white supremacy show up within these systems.
“These systems have caused a lot of harm to survivors,” Manning said. “Even more so when you look at intersections such as racial identity, economic security and gender identity. But I know that in building relationships with the people working inside of these systems, we can begin to influence positive change.”
Manning knows progress takes time and she is committed to the long game. “Survivors of gender-based violence have already had so much taken from them,” she said. “Once they access support, they deserve to have a voice in that process. Having agency is critical for a survivor’s path toward healing. But it is also crucial to know that survivors and their experiences are not monolithic; everyone has their own experiences and needs.”
A huge part of Manning’s work is educating those working in these systems—and the community at large—about what domestic violence and sexual assault really look like. For many, local news is the main source of education on the topic. When a news story simply reports a “domestic dispute,” it gives the impression that a couple was fighting; that both parties are to blame. But in this work, as both a leader and a survivor herself, Manning knows it’s much more complex than that.
“Frequently, as was the case in my own situation, the person doing harm is someone that the victim/survivor loves and cares about very much,” Manning says. “This makes a very hard situation even more challenging to navigate. Often we hear people say, ‘Why doesn’t the person just leave their abuser?’ But this can feel impossible for many reasons.”
One challenge is that survivors don’t often think of their situation as “domestic violence” or even know what options exist for them, Manning said. They can be unable to leave for many reasons, including housing instability, shame, the threat of being killed, concern for children or pets being harmed further, financial dependence on the person causing harm, and not being able to talk about it because they love and want to protect the person causing them harm.
“Instead of judging the survivor for being in the situation, empathy asks you to believe people you care about when they tell you that they have been harmed,” Manning said. “Abuse in any form is never the fault of the person being harmed. That responsibility is on the person causing the harm, but frequently society blames the victim, especially if the survivor is a woman.”
It is Manning’s hope that all survivors are met with empathy, support and compassion once they have found their voice. “If someone you love tells you that they have been harmed by someone—start by believing them. Start by asking them how you can support them. Often the response they receive when they first speak up determines whether or not that person will seek further support.”
Manning has spent her career in this work, and she spends much of her personal time in service work as well. She is a licensed mental health provider and a drug and alcohol counselor, and she volunteers these skills to people coming out of incarceration. She is the current board president of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and serves as a board member for the National Alliance of Mental Illness, Nebraska chapter.
At the Women’s Fund since 2022, Manning has supported efforts to stop harmful legislation that doesn’t center the needs of survivors and advocates for needed change at the state level. Such pieces of needed legislation include LB11, the Pets and Protection Orders bill, to provide clarification in domestic abuse protection orders, and LB315, which protects survivors from being sent to collections over medical bills related to the medical services sought after they were harmed, including rape kits.
During this time, Nebraska also formed its first Domestic Abuse Death Review team, which Manning serves on. The purpose of this team is to review every domestic violence-related fatality in the state and look for ways to prevent future fatalities. Another way that Manning and the Women’s Fund work to prevent gender-based violence is by uplifting research and educating communities about the realities. Earlier this year, the organization published the State of Domestic Violence, a report that gives an overall picture, through data, of how systems are responding to domestic violence and sexual assault in Douglas County, Nebraska.
“By looking at what we know from agencies throughout our community who respond to domestic violence situations daily, we can continue to utilize the data and make it accessible for the purpose of holding these systems accountable and ensuring we are moving toward a future where everyone is safe from gender-based violence,” Manning said.
Manning wants the community to begin to see the bigger picture.
“The relationship between suicide, domestic violence and sexual assault represents a critical intersection in understanding trauma, mental health and substance use. Survivors of both domestic violence and/or sexual assault face elevated risks of mental health disorders and addiction—which can lead to suicidal thoughts, feelings and behaviors,” she said. “The trauma caused can impact survivors’ emotional well-being, often resulting in feelings of hopelessness, shame and fear; all of which are major risk factors for suicide. This underscores the need for a trauma-informed, survivor-centered approach that not only addresses the immediate safety concerns but also the long-term emotional and psychological impacts. By fostering understanding and providing survivors with the support they need, it is possible to prevent suicide and promote healing from the deep wounds of violence and abuse.”
Breaking the cycle of domestic violence, sexual assault and suicide requires a holistic, compassionate approach. Mental health services, addiction services, crisis intervention and support systems must be integrated into domestic violence and sexual assault response programs to effectively reduce the risk of suicide.
Wherever these services are happening in our city, you can be certain that Manning is inside these systems, working for change and leading with empathy. W