“Rainbow Parents” Unite to Protect Their Children and the Community
By Kara Schweiss
Photo by Ron Coleman, C4 Photography
Maureen Hornacek and her husband Mike have three children, ranging in age from pre-teen to young adult, so they’ve navigated through the ages and stages, the drama and trauma, the noise and joys that are part of typical parenting. Yet in one important way they’re not so typical. The Hornaceks are “rainbow parents” supporting and celebrating a child who is LGBTQ+.
Their family’s journey started relatively early in their child’s life, Maureen Hornacek said, when it became evident that their child, assigned male at birth, identified as female.
“We have a transgender kiddo, and our child was very articulate at a young age, at between 2 and 3 years old. We didn’t act on that. We just loved our child,” she said. “But behind the scenes, I started doing some research and met with our pediatrician, met with a therapist. I went to symposiums—as did my husband—with our doctor to learn more, because I didn’t know anything about that group of folks. I didn’t have any lived experience. I always considered myself an ally to the gay community; it’s just that I had a lot of learning to do.”
The family let their child take the first steps into their journey without sharing it with others, Hornacek said.
“Most people identify their gender between the ages of 3 and 5. And if their insides and their outsides don’t happen to match, it’s not because they didn’t have the inkling, it becomes a societal issue, really, because they don’t know if it’s safe to say it out loud or not—which is why most people are going to transition later in life at 14, 15 or 16,” she said. “Our child, at the age of 6, outed themselves at a classroom party. That next year was when she got to start her social transition and live her authentic self.”
Their daughter’s peers were very accepting from the beginning. “The kids didn’t care,” Hornacek said. “It was no big deal.” Family members, including the older generations, were also supportive. So was the Hornacek’s church community. The families of their daughter’s classmates and other friends also proved to be open-minded.
“We were very open and transparent. We had this big party in the summertime and invited the families of her friends and her older siblings’ friends,” she said. “We kind of made this big announcement to all of them, and the kids were like, ‘Okay, well, when are we having the ice cream?’ And they just went and played. I told (the parents), ‘I will answer any and every question that you have, and if I don’t know, I will get back to you. We’re going to figure it out together.’ It was total acceptance, total and complete acceptance. People had lots of questions, but there was no fear, no hatred, and it was just beautiful.”
Not everyone is supportive, however. In the 2023 Nebraska Legislative session, several anti-trans bills were introduced. LB371, prohibiting youth at drag shows, contained wording that opponents felt could be interpreted as banning transgender people from public activities. It also suggested a message of anti-visibility toward LGBTQ+ people. LB574 included a 12-week abortion ban and also regulation of puberty blockers for minors and a ban on gender-altering surgeries for minors.
The bills were clearly discriminatory, Hornacek said. But she believed they were poorly written and wouldn’t get far.
“I had no doubt in my mind that these bills would get introduced, they would get these hearings—because every bill has to have a public hearing—and they would get thrown out in the committee because they were such bad bills, poorly written, not clear, and just really off the rails,” she said. “Then, when they came out of committee, people started taking them seriously. I was like, ‘What? How can people take this seriously?’ I was really flabbergasted, but also upset because these bills were getting traction.”
Mike Hornacek and other rainbow parents testified against LB574, but they were just discovering each other as a community and a concerted effort wasn’t quite in place. LB371 was indefinitely postponed, but LB574 was signed into law. Its implications are serious even for parents of cisgender youth, Maureen Hornacek said, because it threatens parents’ rights to make medical decisions on behalf of their minor children.
The experience with the 2023 legislative session inspired the Hornaceks and other rainbow parents to form Rainbow Parents of Nebraska to protect the rights of LGBTQ+ youth and their families and lobby for inclusive legislation in the state. Its mission is to educate parents about policies and political activity that will impact their children as well as encourage them to become politically involved and engage in advocacy on behalf of their children and families. The organization’s stated vision is “a Nebraska where LGBTQ+ youth feel empowered, celebrated, and embraced for who they are. We strive to build a community where all young individuals can live authentically and express their true selves without fear of discrimination or prejudice.” More information is available at RainbowParentsofNE.org.
When LB575—Adopt the Sports and Spaces Act—was introduced in the legislative session, the group knew they needed to approach things differently, and Nebraska rainbow parents were ready to fight. The anti-trans bill, which focused on school bathrooms and athletic teams, was defeated through a coordinated effort between senators, lobbyists and the Rainbow Parents.
“There were a few senators that really supported our families and our kiddos. They met with a couple of groups around the state to find out what kind of support we needed,” she said. “They reached out to support groups in the LGBTQ+ community and the parents of youth in that community. It really gave the rainbow parents a lot of courage to keep fighting and doing the work to make sure that LB575 did not see the light of day.”
Parent-advocates also attended events such as town halls and candidate meet-and-greets to make their presence known, Hornacek added. “We wanted to make sure that we built relationships with the senators so they knew who we were and that we weren’t going anywhere, and that we were just regular people that happened to have a child that was transgender or non-binary. And in the end, I think all those conversations and all those relationships that we built had an impact.”
There will be more challenges ahead, Hornacek predicts, and people who are not in the LGBTQ+ community can be important allies and advocates by speaking out and getting involved.
“If you can see the tomfoolery of all of these discriminatory bills, you realize that if they are taking away the rights of a particular group, they’re taking away everyone’s rights. They’re taking away the right for people to be themselves,” she said. “We need everyone to use their voice.” W